burning out & tapering off.

This is absolutely the last thing I need to be writing, which has made me want to write it. I have an essay to finish by tomorrow and a couple of poems to write by September so I still count as a Real Writer, but I just remembered that I haven’t written an update post here for a while, so I’m doing that instead.

The past month has had essays, and whole days spent lying down, and two milkshakes, and walking in the cold, and headaches, and frustration, and plenty of cats, and watching cartoons late at night, and lipstick, and being conflicted, and being scared, and being confused, and reading enough for once, and wanting to do better, and making an effort to learn, and bus rides, and listening to the same songs too many times, and sarsaparilla, and being on the very edge of being honest with people, and making progress too slowly.

Maybe that’s why things never feel right. I know I’m making progress and carrying on and trying my best, but I can still feel that it’s too slow and that in the end my efforts aren’t going to matter. In any case I like sarsaparilla and I need to wear lipstick more. Also spearmint milkshakes are delightful.

I’ve been having nightmares about things that are real too. Real things are the worst subject matter for nightmares. They don’t bother me for very long, which is a small mercy, but it does bother me to know things can have such a huge impression on me that they’ll even bother me when I’m asleep. That’s the whole point of sleeping – I see it as procrastinating and putting off life. Long hours of not thinking and being warm. It’s hardly surprising people think I’m lazy, but I think if they were in my shoes they’d do the exact same thing.

Anyways, this month has been full of small discoveries and an overwhelming sense of things burning out. 

 

four female youtubers worth watching.

On the surface, YouTube in 2017 is a bit of a trash heap. You have a page of ‘recommendations’ that are essentially just Vine compilations and videos of people chopping iPhones up with knives, and you have a page of ‘Trending’ videos that are…still the Vines and knife videos. For a while I’d been avoiding trawling through YouTube; people seem to be getting 5 million+ followers for posting clickbait and videos of ‘triggered feminists’. Ew.

As of late, however, I’ve been looking past the spam and hunting for YouTube gems that deserve more attention. Today I wanted to write about three YouTube channels that I genuinely enjoy. I recommend you go check them out; their content is original and funny, and they are all wonderfully creative people! They’re proof that you can create good content in 2017 without falling into the usual YouTube sinkholes of clickbait and ‘triggered’ jokes. There’s hope for the internet yet.

1. Lucy Moon.

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Lucy Moon is a YouTuber from London; she is also one-third of a book group podcast called Banging Book Club, which you can listen to here. I love watching Lucy’s videos; I enjoy how fresh and original they are, and how well-made they are. Her ‘168 Hours’ vlogs are week-long vlogs that are creative and beautifully edited. Her videos range from covers of songs to baking videos; she shares her thoughts on music, her favourite poetry books, being organised and anxiety. I highly recommend you check out her channel, which you can watch here.

2. Mari and Stacy (Geek Remix).

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Mari and Stacy run a YouTube gaming channel called Geek Remix, which I’ve been watching for about a year now. At the moment they’re one of the only gaming channels I enjoy watching, and here’s why. While your average YouTube gamer will scream through horror games for the audience’s benefit and be as obnoxious as they like (because they know they’ll get away with it), Mari and Stacy’s videos are different, because they’re genuine. Their playthroughs of video games are fascinating; they don’t talk over the dialogue or detract from the experience, but they add to it instead. They theorise about the plot while playing, talking about feminism, mental health, and whether they’d date a robot (answer: yes, if the robot has a good personality). I highly recommend their channel; watching one of their videos is like playing a video game with friends, and their discussions always make the game playthrough that much better. (Find their channel here.)

3. Carrie Hope Fletcher (ItsWayPastMyBedtime).

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Carrie Hope Fletcher is a YouTuber from the UK; I’ve been watching her videos for years and they have always been amazingly creative, entertaining and adorable. Other than being a YouTuber, Carrie is an author, singer/songwriter and actress. She’s well-known for her former role as Eponine in West End’s production of Les Miserables. She has released two singles, and is about to release her third book. I definitely see her as one of the most talented YouTubers out there. She’s such a sweet and talented person, and you should definitely have a look at her content.

You can find her channel here, and her website here. 


I’d really like to write more about my favourite YouTubers, so there might be a sequel to this post sometime soon! In the meantime, check out one or more of these people; they deserve all the attention they get.

(FEATURED IMAGE SOURCE: http://www.iamlucymoon.com)

On Happiness

This week I reread The Diary of a Young Girl – Anne Frank’s famous diary – and I came across a paragraph that I thought was particularly sweet. I wanted to share this quote as a response to the Daily Post’s prompt ‘heal’.

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“Riches, prestige, everything can be lost. But the happiness in your own heart can only be dimmed; it will always be there, as long as you live, to make you happy again.

Whenever you’re feeling lonely or sad, try going to the loft on a beautiful day and looking outside. Not at the houses and the rooftops, but at the sky. As long as you can look fearlessly at the sky, you’ll know that you’re pure within and will find happiness once more.” – Anne Frank

This impressed me a lot; Anne Frank’s writing style is so mature and her words are infused with wisdom. I generally avoid advice and quotes about happiness because people generally say something along the lines of that happiness is a choice, which I don’t believe is true for everyone. This quote is lovely though; it’s more about the fact that you always have the potential to be happy, and even if you can’t be happy in the present, you know that the feeling will come back to you. It’s a good thought.

10 YA Tropes We’re Tired of Reading

We’ve all read a YA novel and picked up on something that sounds a little too familiar. We’ve all met the protagonist who’s living in a dystopian world run by a corrupt government – you know, the one who has a lot on her plate right now, what with having to save the world and having some kind of supernatural power that’s endangering her? She’s also the one being pursued by not one, but two guys, and she just can’t choose between them. And she probably has red hair.

Books in the young adult genre can be amazingly well-written and original, but a good number of them seem to rely on the same tropes every time. Today I wanted to write about a few of them. I didn’t want this post to just be a list of cliches that annoy me personally, so I asked my fellow members of the Literary Box Book Club – a great community of book lovers – what tropes they were tired of reading in young adult novels. Here are ten of the tropes that we need to see less of in books!


1. Love triangles.

This one is no surprise. The trope of love triangles appears in some of the most popular young adult novels out there – hi The Hunger Games – and it’s rarely relevant to the plot in any way. The main character, generally a female of the not-like-the-other-girls variety, is in love with two guys. She can’t choose between them. This is either tacked onto the book as a forced romance storyline, or is the basis of the entire novel. You can usually tell exactly which guy she’s going to end up with purely by their introduction.

In The Hunger Games, the love triangle between Katniss, Peeta and Gale is certainly not the most important element of the books, but it’s focused on far too much. Predictably, when the movies came out the media blew the love triangle even more out of proportion. Forget Katniss taking down the government or dealing with PTSD or literally being in an televised-murder-kid-explosion-arena – what the teen magazines wanted to know was are you Team Peeta or Team Gale?

2. Being the ‘chosen one’.

There’s only so much of prophecies, magical powers and being descended from some kind of mythical being that a reader can take. Stating that your protagonist is ‘the chosen one’ at times feels like a cheap way of explaining why your main character is…well, the main character. She is the chosen one. Legend says that a white straight girl with red hair and eyes that change colour when she’s upset is destined to save the world. Deal with it. The prophecy foretold you so.

3. “I let out a breath I didn’t know I had been holding.”

We don’t know where this originated or why people keep writing this, but it’s a thing. A weird thing that adds nothing to the writing and…doesn’t even really make sense. When the reader’s attention is being directed to how the character is breathing, that’s when you know the story is getting intense, right?

4. Diversity where?

This one is a little more serious. The majority of YA novels have white, able-bodied, female protagonists with white, able-bodied, male love interests. There’s a lack of diverse characters in young adult novels that is unrealistic and disappointing. There’s no representation for the young people that these novels should be written for.

In an attempt to claim the cast of characters is in some way diverse, the author might insert one token black character into the mix. When this is done poorly it can be pretty obvious. If the black teenage girl (who is, quite suspiciously, the one person of colour in her entire high school) seems to have zero qualities or personality traits other than being ‘sassy’, then you might need to think about rewriting. Remember that including minorities for the sake of including minorities is a bad move, and nobody’s personality entirely revolves around their race, sexuality, gender or disability. They deserve to be written with equal depth as the other characters.

5. The token Best Friend character.

The Best Friend character generally falls into one of three categories:

A type: Incredibly attractive. More popular than the protagonist. Has a good understanding of makeup and fashion, so she likely helps the protagonist dress up for a date or the prom in later chapters. Is likely to turn out to be unkind and betray the protagonist in some way. In the world of YA novels that revolve around love triangles, female friendships aren’t worth too much.

B type: Their name is Mia and their personality is as bland as porridge. You’ll never hear of them after the first two chapters except for a possible cameo at the end. Bye Mia.

C type: The best friend is a guy. Oh boy. He and the protagonist have been friends since preschool when they tried to drown one other in a duck pond. He is very obviously in love with the protagonist and this will not become clear to her until the end of the book. Has brown floppy hair much like a wildebeest. Possibly a guitarist, almost certainly a social outcast that only the protagonist understands.

6. Instantly falling in love.

The protagonist and the love interest see eachother across the room – sufficient grounds to say that they’re in love. Or maybe their eyes meet at the school cafeteria. Hell, maybe their hands brush accidentally. In your typical low quality YA novel, it’s surprisingly easy to fall in love. If not easy, then fast.

7. Alarming levels of heterosexuality.

Oh god. The YA genre can be painfully straight at times. I can count the good LGBT-inclusive YA novels I’ve read on one hand. And really I can’t say it’s LGBT-inclusive so much as…LG-inclusive? Bisexual and/or transgender characters are a rarity.

Perhaps even worse than an 100% straight cast of characters is, once again, when the author adds a gay best friend for diversity’s sake. This is the only time you’re likely to see a female protagonist with a male friend who remains just a friend. The gay best friend trope is one of my least favourite – these characters are almost always painfully stereotypical. “Oh my Gaga” is a phrase I’ve had to read with my own two eyes. I’m not even kidding. I can’t imagine that every gay teenage boy’s primary purpose is to drift about his high school until he finds a straight white girl who needs a makeover – and yet this character trope persists.

8. Manic Pixie Dream Girls.

They whisk away the incredibly dull male protagonist, get them to shoplift an inflatable dolphin for the sake of quirkiness, teach them how to love and live, then die in a freak accident. All in about the space of a weekend. There’s no rest for the Manic Pixie Dream Girl. They’re equal parts lovable and irritating in a vague blue-haired way, and they appear in YA fiction way too much. If you’re trying to write a realistic novel, don’t make your male protagonist’s love interest someone like this. Life is not a John Green novel, ladies and gentlemen. And shoplifting is more illegal than quirky.

9. Parents where?

Chances are the answer to that is something along the lines of:

A) They died in a car crash when Protagonist was three.

B) Business trip.

C) You are briefly introduced to them in the first chapter but after that they are sucked into the void never to be seen again.

D) The antagonist or the government killed the parents.

10. Red hair. So much red hair.

Red hair occurs in 1-2% of people, yet somehow either Protagonist or Best Friend are always redheads. If we lived in a world where young adult protagonists ran wild, red hair wouldn’t be quite so uncommon after all. Then again, if red hair was common, the protagonists would probably not have red hair. And then again! If we lived in a world where young adult protagonists ran wild, at least 1-2% of the population would be Chosen Ones. That’s a lot of choosing.


Thanks to all of my fellow book club members who helped contribute their thoughts and ideas! It’s good to see that so many readers aren’t settling for predictable writing or stereotyped characters.

Let me know in the comments what your least favourite YA trope is!

(Image source: http://yoursummerdreamz.tumblr.com/)

On Baking & Perfectionism

On Wednesday I baked brownies for the first time! They were fudgey and warm and delicious and everything that good brownies should be.

I don’t make things very often, and when I do they often go wrong. Not necessarily wrong enough that they could be considered a disaster or failure – just not what I had in mind. As someone who has highly unrealistic expectations in all things, this isn’t so good. If things don’t turn out exactly like I imagined them, it feels like there must have been something I could have done better.

The brownies were a success; they did stick to the pan a little, and they might have been a little too crumbly, but I was the only one who noticed those things, and they were still the most delicious and perfect of all brownies. It feels good to be able to make something and not be left with a feeling of disappointment. The secret is probably not learning to look past imperfections so much as actually trying to make something in the first place. The more you do, the more you’ll get right. Most importantly, the more you try, the more brownies you end up with.

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On Reading

The best New Year resolution I made this year was to read more, and it’s been the resolution that I’ve been doing the best job of keeping. I’ve read a handful of novels over the past couple months, and I’ve been working to fit more reading time into my day.

It’s nothing like when I was a kid though – I used to max out my card every time I visited the library. I’d carry bags, backpacks – even a suitcase on wheels sometimes – and once I got home I’d stack the 30-odd books in an unlikely-looking tower in the corner of my room, just to see how the spines would look together.

Maybe compared to when I was a kid I’m not really reading much now,  but what with library studies and my mind being arid, I don’t have the time or energy to be the obsessive reader I used to be. I’m okay with that though! Nobody has as much time as they did when they were kids. It doesn’t make me less of a book lover.

I want to keep up the reading, and I want to start posting some reviews on here too! I’ve started following a lot of bookstagrams, and they’ve been super inspiring – maybe I could start taking aesthetically pleasing photos of my books too?

If you like, let me know in a comment if there’s something that you like to make time for in your life!

(IMAGE SOURCE: http://memories-mint.tumblr.com/image/154258059470)

march 20: conquer

Hello everyone. For the past couple weeks I’ve been working on my uni assignments; I finished and submitted one yesterday, and I have two to go!

The one I’m currently working on is for Literature Resources for Children and Young People. It’s definitely one of the more interesting courses I’ve taken – I’d never really stopped to think about how important children’s literature is, and I’d never guessed there would be so much to learn! There are six different types of picture book if you can believe it… the paper also focuses on Young Adult literature too, which I’ve always been interested in.

So, for my assignment right now I’m writing some small book reviews for children’s books. I’m posting them on another wordpress – I was going to post them here but I feel like creating a sideblog would be more professional. I have several thousand words in essays to conquer in the next ten days, so wish me luck!